Another brick-pooping demented story
by FrankfurtKaiser
Summary: Sequel to "Utsuho's adventure of disturbed minds" The sequel that nobody asked to the fanfic nobody knows. After the incident related to the purple brick falling on Utsuho's head was solved, everything went back to normal. But memories of things that hadn't happened came to Yukari's head, and soon a new incident took place in Gensokyo. It's like this that a new adventure begins.
1. Strap in for a new adventure

_Back in the eighties, while I was chilling in my bedroom my father came into my room with a copy of my first fanfic in this page, and he brought up...that question:_  
 _''This yours?''_  
 _''No, I...''_  
 _''Your mother said she found it in your account."_  
 _''I don't know, one of the reviewers must've left..."_  
 _''Left off what?''_  
 _''But dad it's not mine''_  
 _''Where did you get it!?''_  
 _''DAD, I...''_  
 _''Answer me! Who taught you how to do this stuff?''_  
 _I couldn't take it anymore, so I finally told him._  
 _''YOU, ALRIGHT?! I learned it by watching you!''_  
 _He looked at me all bamboozled, and that's when it hit us: Parents who do Crackfic, have children who do crackfic._  
 _This was a message from the Partnership for a Crackfic-Free America_

* * *

Rinnosuke was in his shop, like always. It was time to close after a somewhat good day of business. The amount of people who came to his shop was above the average, he even got to sell some stuff. But he didn't really care much that day, he had bigger worries than his sales.

Good ol' Kourin was a bit of a boring man when compared to other personalities of Gensokyo. His power of recognizing technology was not the most useful, he barely had a fighting chance against pretty much anyone else. Add to that his undefined but clearly high age, and it's no wonder he was feeling a bit of a life crisis.

Well, maybe life crisis is not the right word, on the outside he looked calm and ready , but on the inside he had a bit of a void to fill. Well, you see, sometimes when a man is having his age issues he starts bragging about his wife as if it were a trophy or they get a cool looking car (not that you need to be having a crisis to get a cool car, you could have a cool car for the sake of it). Rinnosuke didn't have any trophy wife, so it had to be the car.

Luckily for him, not too long ago, the kappas created and awesome looking DeLorean based on odd memories in the minds of Utsuho Reiuji and her feline companion Orin. Due to a set of fortunate circumstances, he got to try the car by himself.

So, now that the store was closed, it was finally his time to try that beautiful piece of machinery. He got inside it and turned that baby on, the motor roared and the tires began spinning. He stomped on the pedal and started rolling.

Faster and faster, the numbers in the speedometer started to raise, and when it reached 88 miles per hour...

He crashed against a tree, and his body went flying. Poor Rinnosuke hit the dirt and his body bounced 4 times before stopping. A regular man would have been dead by then, but he was only half regular man, so he was just half of a dead guy now.

And then Yukari appeared. The DeLorean had called her attention.

''My legs! I can't feel my legs!'' said Kourin in agony.

''How is it you have this powerful car?'' asked Yukari. ''Aren't you a bit too old for a mid-life crisis?''

That was so rude, but Rinosuke wasn't offended, he just groaned in pain.

''But how did you get it''

Rinnosuke explained things between groans and Yukari thanked him for it by transporting him through a gap to Eirin's clinic. He appeared on top of the roof and fell right through it, not that a few more broken bones on his body mattered to Yukari.

The supposed memories of Rin and Okuu made no sense to her. The kappas had been told about a portal to 1985, which made about as much sense as the previous installment of this story. But despite it being so unlikely, she also had odd memories of events she was sure to never have lived.

She spent 45 minutes and 29 seconds thinking about it, and then it hit her.

''I must go to the Hakurei Shrine.'' And she went to the Hakurei Shrine.

When she arrived in one of her gaps ignoring the privacy of Reimu by appearing right inside it, nobody called her out on it. That was odd, and she noticed it.

''How strange, what is going on?'' wondered Yukari.

''Get out of my property!'' Yelled Reimu. ''I've had it with you meddling kids getting in my property whenever you want!''

Star came from another room flying without using her wings thanks to a good kick in the face by the shrine maiden. Her other two fairy friends followed quickly in the same way and landed on her body.

Reimu came after, stomping on the ground and using her pointy finger to point (what else?).

''Go back to your homes!''

''But we live here...'' Said Sunny.

''No excuses. Out.''

''Did I miss anything?'' asked Yukari

''Oh, now I understand everything! You all want to get in my house and mooch off of me. Well, I ain't having any of that, not as long as my name isReimu G. Hakurei!''

''What does the G stand for?'' Asked Luna Child.

''It stands for GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE!''

''Is that your father's or your mother's surname?'' wondered Luna .

''I think it's a middle name'' said Sunny.

''That's it. If you're not leaving, I'm leaving with the shrine!''

Reimu stomped harder than ever on the floor to make a hole and got out through it. From below, she tipped the shrine to get everyone out of it, then she raised it over her head and ran away with it.

''That settles it, something is very wrong with Gensokyo.'' Yukari stated

''Do you have anything to do with this?'' Luna asked.

''That would be convenient, wouldn't it? But I don't.''

''Man, what a mess." Shinmyoumaru popped out from inside one of Sunny Milk's pigtails ''Looks like I'm a little screwed.''

Star looked at her surprised ''What were you doing inside her hair?''

Shinmyoumaru pulled her imaginary tie ''I'm all right now, but last week I was in a rough...''

She was interrupted when Star grabbed her for closer inspection

''You're different''

''What do you mean different? I'm me.''

Something ticked in Yukari's brain ''Changed, you say?''

Memories began flooding Yukari's brain. She remembered things that never happened. She remembered fighting Okuu, Orin and Cirno. She remembered being hit by a brick and causing widespread insanity across the land.

''Hey, tell us what's going on'' demanded Shinmyoumaru ''don't just leave me hanging here.''

Yukari's expression turned pale. That kind of face wasn't one typical of her. ''This is serious, reality as we know it might be getting warped, and this isn't the first time it has happened!''

The ground started to shake right after that, and for a second TV static flickered in the sky.

''What happens?!'' screamed Luna.

''This is worse than the previous time. Reality must have assumed Reimu has abandoned her job as the shrine maiden and now it's trying to collapse unto itself.''

''And what do we do?'' asked a worried Star.

''You can be Reimu! Quick, change your outfit!'' Said Sunny.

'The fairies ripped out the sleeves from Star's dress with sheer force, then they cut in two the string that formed the knot in her neck and used it to keep the detached sleeves on her arms. Sunny also gave her that tie thing she had in her dress to wear  
Then they used a tree branch as if it was a gohei (a gohei is that wooden stick Reimu and Sanae carry around. Took me some time to find what that thing was called). And like that a player 2 Reimu of mini size was created. And all the shaking stopped suddenly.

''It looks like it was crazy enough to work'' Said Luna.

Sunny cheered ''Alright! What now?''

''I'm not really sure'' answered Yukari '', there is a strange incident that we barely know about but seems very dangerous. Usually, Reimu would take care of it.''

''But reimu ran to the hills.'' said Shinmyoumaru, who was now on top of Star's shoulder.

''Isn't Star Reimu now? Then that means she has to solve the incident.'' explained Luna.

''Right! And we'll help her.'' added Sunny. ''Let's go!''

Yukari watched as the fairies flew away into the horizon. ''I have a lot of work to do.''


	2. Party like it's 2015

The first step in the fairy shrine maiden's path was...something. The girls didn't have much of an idea what to do, since it was Star's first day in the job. But they knew another human who also got involved in incidents and who they already knew from back in the days when they lived in a tree. Perhaps she could help.

They went to the house, it looked just as it did the last time. There was some hope that she wasn't crazy like Reimu.  
They knock knock knocked on Marisa's door (Mama, put my spellcards in the ground), and the witch opened soon after. There wasn't any sign of change in her body or her behaviour that they could tell.

''Hey, it's you!'' Greeted Marisa.

''Hello, Marisa. We are trying to solve an incident in place of Reimu'' Said Star.

''Huh? Did something happen to her?''  
Sunny explained. ''She kicked us out of the shrine and went far away, so now Star is Reimu and we're helping her do her job. But we aren't sure what to do because it's our first day''

''Do you know about anything odd that could be an incident?'' asked Luna.

Marisa thought they could likely be playing a prank on her, but she answered honestly.

''Not really, I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary yet...well, except for one thing.''

''Tell us, please!'' Demanded Sunny.

''It's nothing, just someone who comes from time to time here and makes some noise.''

And then, the sound of a car horn playing the first two lines of the chorus from Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough was heard coming from farther than the trees could let them see.

''Oh no, it's her...'' said Marisa.

In came a ferrari that parked right in front of them. The driver got out of the car to reveal her face and shout.

''HOW CRAZY ARE YOU TODAY, PEOPLE!'' It was Clownpiece.

''It's you!'' Shouted Sunny.

''Yes, it's me! Me! Me!'' She said, pointing at her chest with her thumb, which she buried deeper in with each ``me´´.

She took the thumb out and kept speaking as blood came in spurts out of the hole she had made. ''I don't see you very crazy today either, I gotta liven up the ambience!''

''Wait...are you the one who made Reimu go crazy?''

''Me? Of course!''

''That's it, let's get her!'' Sunny ordered while jumping at her. But she stopped in mid-air when Clownpiece kept talking.

''Actually I haven't seen her in a long time. I said I did it to get you all hyped up.''

''Hyped for what?'' asked Luna.

''Hyped for a party!'' Confetti started coming out of her chest cavity like the blood did before, with each spurt making the sound of a shotgun firing.

''PARTY A GO-GO BABY WOOOOO!''

She was the only one amused by such antics, and so her good mood faded quickly.

''Oh, what party poopers! Well well, if you don't want to party, I'll have to do it the hard way''

She began moving, one hop to the left, one hop to the right, she did three spins and clapped her hands before pulling out her torch. ''Groove on,everyone!''

But with a quick beam of energy aimed at the fairy, Marisa took down Clownpiece and the torch's flame went out. When she came back, the clown grumbled displeased.

''Okay, now you are making a science out of party pooping. It's like the most assinine science in the world.''

Shinmyoumaru popped out of Sunny's hair ''Hey now, the bad puns and play on words are MY bread and butter.''

''No joking, seriously. I mean, it's like...there's ``party hard´´, right? Okay, then this is ``poop hard´´, ``poop hard on Clownpiece's hard party´´.

''I wansn't going to let you wave that thing and make everyone go insane again.'' Said Marisa.

''See? That's what I mean. Well, you can go all eat a big fat bowl of fudge, you big meanies!''

She was going to get in the ferrari again and leave, but Star sneaked behind her and hit her in the head, knocking her down.

The three fairies where quick to hold her while on the ground to stop her from escaping.

''We've got the culprit, great job, Star!'' Sunny cheered.

''That was pretty easy.'' observed Luna.

''Without the fire of her torch, she wasn't hot stuff'' Shinmyoumaru explained.

Sunny nodded, accidentally causing the inchling to almost fall off her head. ''That could be it, maybe without her gimmicks she isn't that strong.''

Star asked the important question ''what do we do with her now?''

They doubted on whether to put her half-striped butt in some makeshift jail like a criminal or inviting her to drink. Of course, in the end they all went inside Marisa's house to drink, since that's what Reimu would do (Actually Reimu would go to her shrine, but we all know what happened to it in the previous episode).

Before they knew it, they were getting out of the house and the fairies were for the most drunker than drunk.

''That waz...that waz ...*hic*, it waz fun, girlz'' slurred Clownpiece. ''I'm gonna be leaving now''

''Hooold it!'' Sunny said ''you aren't going anywhere without conf...conf...'' She tripped on her own feet and fell face first on the ground ''you can't leave without talking''

''I haven't got nothung to do wiz your inzident! So am leaving!''

She got on the ferrari and, to her credit, she strapped on her seatbelt.

''Noooo!'' screamed Luna ''You're too drunk...for...too drunk for...you...'' She fell on the floor asleep.

''You won't go very far seeing how drunk you are.'' Said Star ''who actually had consumed the least, as she had rightfully assumed Clownpiece might try to escape.

''Juzz try to ztop me!''

She put her foot on the pedal, but at the very moment those two things made contact, the car rolled over without moving from its place, ending up flat on its back. Then it spontaneously caught fire and exploded. And a tree from the forest fell on it, and then a rock fell from the sky and squashed what remained.

''Woah!'' Star was understandably surprised.

''Atleast we stopped her. But if she wasn't the culprit, then who?'' She turned to her friends ''let's go to the...!''

They were still on the floor. Sunny was too tired to move and Luna wasn't gonna wake up in a while.

Shinmyoumaru popped in ''They aren't going to move. We'll have to stay here unless you drag them''

And that's exactly what Star Saphire did, despite the suggestion to do it actually being a joke. She grabbed them by the ankle and flew away to find the next possible culprit. They had no time to waste.


	3. 99 problems but a book ain't one

By the time the three fairies were back in shape, they had arrived at the human powers of invisibility came in handy, although they could have gone without using it since everyone was too busy with the different crazy things happening around them. It looked like 1 out of 5 villagers had gone cuckoo.

On the way they found something interesting: The Hieda house. They knew a bit about the woman who lived inside. She had written records about many of the people in Gensokyo, so paying her a visit could help them have a better idea of what suspects to go after.

They knocked the house and Hieda no Akyuu answered from within. "Come in"

They did so, and when they entered Akyuu greeted them accordingly.

"Hello, Yukari Yakumo told me about you, so I'm not too surprised to see you."

"She did?" Asked Luna.

"Yes, but I thought the three of you would come together. Where's Star Saphire?"

Star tried explaining herself "I'm St..."

But Akyuu squatted in front of her and started pinching her cheek.

"Instead you brought Reimu, and she seems more soft and huggable. How did you do this, Reimu? Is it a divine blessing of some sort, or is this magic?"

Star, whose face was becoming red from all the pinching, slapped away Akyuu's hand. "I'm not Reimu!"

Akyuu put her hands on her cheeks as she blushed. ''Aaaaw, you're so cute!'' She hugged the blue fairy with strength, squeezing her so hard she had trouble breathing.

''Aaaah! H-help me!'' said Blue Reim-...Star.

Her friends tried pulling at her legs to free her from the writer's grasp, but she was pretty strong. Using force was out of the picture, so instead Luna opted to talk things.

''We need your help. There is another incident happening, and your books could tell us who to go after.''

''That's a great idea. Let me go get you some of the books.'' Akyuu let Star go and went to a shelf were she had some of them.

She took a good look at them and ended pulling out Keine from there. Grabbing her by the top of her head, she showed her to the fairies.

''How about this one? It has a lot of good information about...'' Keine punched her in the face so hard she crashed through the shelf.

''Punching out idiots.''

''It's the were-beast!'' shouted Sunny.

''I'm more than that. I am Keine Kamishirasawa, half human, half hakutaku, all kick-ass. The history of Gensokyo is but a snack to me.'' She turned her head to the fairies and smiled a crooked grin. ''And I see three idiots who will entertain me.''

Akyuu came back through the hole in her shelf. ''You...I should have known you'd come again, Keine Kamikirisawa.'' She stared at her antagonist teacher dramatically and then realized her flub. ''I mean Kamirikishawa. Wait, no, it's Kamakirisiwa''

She scratched her head confused ''Kikishiwa? No, that's nothing like it, I'm sure.''

''Ha, what fool you are. You can't even remember my name.''

''It's your fault for having a name that's so confusing.''

Keine did a random pose from JoJo's Bizarre adventure ''If that is what you consider an attack against me, don't even bother trying to wage battle.''

Akyuu responded with a JoJo pose of her own ''You talk a lot of smack for a buffalo woman.''

''So you know that?'' Keine switched to a different pose.

The girls kept changing poses with each sentence. They looked pretty darn dramatic and absurd if you ask me, but somehow that made them cooler.

''I've learned some things recently. I'm more surprised about you remembering.''

''That was a mistake I won't make again. But yes, I know more than I will tell you. You will die as an ignorant, and once you come back I will be there to finish you off once again.''

''I cannot truly die, I will forever reincarnate even after you finally rot like the animal you are.''

''Ha! Don't try to scare me, you are but a footnote in the history I will devour today.''

''...Well, you smell like poop.''

''That's the last straw, Hieda no Akyuu!'' Screamed Keine as she grabbed Star and began swinging her like a club.

''So you have Reimu at your side now...Gensokyo really is going to hell.'' She cracked her neck and dashed to quickly grab Luna by the ankles. ''If you wanna fight like that, I will beat you at your own game.''

And like that, the fairy to fairy duel began. There was lot of swinging and sparring, meaning lots of pain and suffering for the fairies (but it was funny slapstick pain, so it's okay).

They would spend hours doing that if nobody did anything about it, and that was what Sunny was there for. With her powers to manipulate the sunlight, she made Star invisible right before Akyuu was hit by her.

''Oh, so now you hit me with pure air. I see you enjoy mocking me, but I will turn you into the joke by being better at YOUR game'' She threw Luna over her shoulder. Now barehanded, she would defeat her foe with the might of a hard piece of air.

She charged at her foe to try striking her with air, which of course didn't have any effect and led to Keine smacking her hard with the invisible fairy. Star got sick of it and shot some bullets at her wielder, to free herself.

Akyuu then used the opportunity for a flying kick that hit straight at Keine's face. Keine stumbled backwards, and Luna and Sunny placed themselves behind her feet to make her trip and fall.

Akyuu went for an elbow drop, but the half-beast woman managed to react fast enough to sit up and then roll backwards, kicking her with bot of her feet in the stomach in the process. Without losing momentum she completed her roll, sending Akyuu far away and getting up in the same motion.

Not content with that, she did a 360 spin with her arms extended to hit the fairies around her. She got two of them, letting Luna alone to fight. She seized the small window for attack she had while Keine wasn't looking at her and jumped to the back of her head, covering the eyes with her little eyes.

''Aaah, get off me!'' The malevolent teacher screamed while trying to pull the fairy from the top of her head. But Luna clinged with strength like a leech.

''I'm holding her, attack now!'' said the struggling fairy to her friends.

Sunny and Star obliged, getting together and charging at full speed while surrounded by little bullets shaped like stars. They crashed against Keine, throwing her to the ground, and before she could get back up, the three girls got together and unloaded a barrage of bullets on her.

Keine stood on the ground for some seconds, and when she finally got up she just gave some parting words. ''This time, you don't lose. Don't think you've beaten me, however. I cannot lose." and she fled the area.

Akyuu popped back in to congratulate the fairies ''great job, girls. You have helped defeat her one more time. How should I repay you?''  
While they had some ideas in mind, they couldn't really indulge in them since time was of the essence. Instead they just asked her for her books on the residents of Gensokyo.

''Books, books. I've got tons of them. Just let me get them.''

She pulled a whole stack of them and placed them on some table.

''I have written lots of things about almost everyone. There are a few I haven't got much information on, but even then I have a bit written about them. You can take your time to read them all. If you need anything else, just ask me.''

They skimmed through them and made a list of possible culprits based on their powers and how likely it would be for them to use those powers to alter the world and people's minds.

''Alright!'' Sunny said ''Now we know who to go after!''

''If you need anything else, you and your friends are free to come, Reimu'' Said Akyuu to Star while making the biggest effort to not pinch her cheek again.

''We'll be fine, don't worry.'' assured Star.

The group took flight and went on to find the first suspect, it was a bit of a long list, but with the knowledge they had and what Akyuu told them, they would most likely go through them fast.


	4. Xanadu of ice and fire

While the fairies of light were looking for the suspects, Yukari was following her own investigation. Since the other girls would surely take care of beating up possible culprits, she was focusing on her odd memories and the people related to them. This meant she had her own people to visit, and her first target was the ice fairy Cirno.

Cirno was right outside her house at the lake near the Scarlet Devil Manor, looking at what might be far away where she wasn't able to see.

''Alright, today seems like a good day! What should I do?''

Yukari came out of one of her gaps behind Cirno ''Before you get yourself lost, you would do well to speak with me.''

The ice fairy turned around and jumped in surprise ''Woah! All of a sudden a mysterious woman appeared!''

''That's a way to put it. I am a woman, and I am a mystery to you. But don't you have any sort of recent memory of me?''

Cirno put her hand on her chin and thought about it ''Hmm...no, I don't see what you're talking about.''

Yukari opened a gap ''Remember this? Remember how one of them opened inside of me, causing me to implode in my final breath?''

Cirno's eyes opened wide ''I remember!''

''Yes?''

''I remember...I remember seing a lot of those things in an odd void. But nothing else.''

That wasn't any help. So she asked if she remembered throwing her a purple brick and she said no (It was a pretty mundane sounding thing as to remember). That was an issue, since in Yukari's memories, after being hit by the brick and becoming insane, she traced back the route the brick took to arrive to the top of her head and only found Cirno.

''We will have to go meet somebody else.'' said Yukari, and pushed the fairy through a gap before following in.

The other two were the raven and the cat. The raven wasn't good with her memories, so she chose the cat. They spent a bit of time looking for her, until they found her on the way to the human village, carrying an empty wheelbarrow that was surely meant to be filled with human corpses.

''I can't wait to get my hands on some bodies.''

''I'm afraid that won't happen right now.'' Yukari said as she intercepted her, bringing Cirno along ''You will first have to answer some questions''.

''Really, can't we leave it for later?''

''I'm sure this strange incident is giving you a lot of work, but I won't take much of your time. I know you have odd memories that haven't actually happened, I also have them'' she made Cirno come a bit closer to Rin ''and I think this fairy has them too.''

''What's the point you're trying to make?'' Asked Orin.

''I think our memories are related. At one point the three of us met, you two came with the hell raven and saw me die. Do you remember something?''

''That can't be, you aren't dead.'' reasoned Cirno.

''Actually, now that you say so...I think I remember something.''

''Does it involve the car the kappas rebuilt?''

''Yes, I remembered getting in it and travelling with Okuu, but now that I see Cirno, I remember she was with us.'' She furrowed her brows in thought ''or was she with other fairies?''

''How curious'' Yukari turned to Cirno ''does anything she says ring a bell?''

''I remember that. When she appeared I was with Sunny, Luna and Star. We were competing when she and her friend appeared and stopped us.''

''But why would she believe you were with them instead?''

''How can I know?''

Cirno had made a good point there, she had no way to explain the contradiction between both versions of the story. However, a third opinion could help her solve that doubt.

But someone wasn't gonna let it happen.

''Hold your horses, you girlies.'' A one armed figure approached, walking with a slow gait that denoted confidence like her voice. ''don't think you can just do things in front of me without getting what you deserve.''

Yukari looked at her and calmly asked ''And what brings you here, Youmu?''

''Yukari, I don't have any reason to tell you anything that might benefit you.''

''Why're you missing an arm?'' asked Cirno.

''This is between Yukari and me, so stuff it.''

Yukari repeated the question, and Youmu answered her inmediately.

''I'm not missing any arms, I have enough to put you in your place'' she unsheathed Hakurouken, it gleamed like her red eyes. ''with this one trusty tool.''

She dashed towards Yukari to chop her like a piece of bologna, but the the youkai was far faster and generated a small fence on the way to make the one-armed gardener trip. As she fell, Yukari hit her with the parasol at full strenght to send her flying up, which she followed by shooting some projectiles.

Youmu got hit, but that didn't stop her. She recovered while still in the air and fell down just as fast, with her sword filled with a desire to cut. Yukari dodged her, but she wasn't the target. The real target was Cirno, who got cut in half horizontally, and before the two halves fell apart, she kicked the upper one towards Orin, who got smacked in the face by the body.

Then she focused back on Yukari, who blocked a vertical sword swing with skill by using her mighty parasol. Unlike Youmu, she had two arms, so while the left one was holding the parasol, the right one called forth a gap behind the gardener.

As the roar of an engine echoed from within the gap, Yukari reflected the wakizashi and jumped to a side. Youmu turned around to see a train charging towards her. She threw her weapon out to take out a spell card and use it in the time before the sword came back down and picked it in the air.  
The blade now covered in energy and enlarged, she used the wakizashi to cut the train in two. She actually ran into the train, splitting it into two halves while it kept going forward in a futile attempt to stop her.

''Oh'' said Yukari.

With that out of the way, Youmu faced Yukari again and pointed dramatically with the sword, but before she could say anything, Cirno threw a block of ice to her face.

''Ow! The hell you just did?!'' She turned to look at the fairy, who was in perfect condition, because fairies are actually inmortal and all that fuzz (This time I'm sure it works like that, I've done the research by asking my local doujin expert about the matter).

''You think cutting me will stop me? You just made me mad, and when I'm mad you're better off saying your prayers!''

''Buzz off, kid. Fairies are out of my league. If I fought you, I'd have to get my other arm cut too to make it fair.''

''How about me, then?'' Rin asked before whacking Youmu with the wheelbarrow. Knocking her out.

''Hmm, is she dead?'' Rin checked the body. ''Nah, she's still alive.''

''Then everything is okay'' Yukari stated ''now, there is someone else I must meet.''

''Could you take me back home?'' asked Cirno.

''You still need to follow me for a little longer'' explained Yukari as she opened gaps below Rin, Cirno and herself, transporting them to the reactor core where Utsuho was working at the moment.

Utsuho very quickly reacted to their arrival ''Foreign substance detect...uh? Rin, the blue fairy and a third person I don't recognize? What's going on here?''

''I have some questions to ask you, and I've brought them with me to help you remember.''  
Yukari explained the problem with the contradicting stories, and Okuu was surprisingly quick to come with a solution.

''Maybe both stories happened.''

''That can't be!'' argued Cirno ''I only ever got interrupted by you while I was with those three fairies once.''

''Oh, then I don't know...'' but she quickly perked up and corrected herself ''wait, I didn't mean that! I mean you were both with us and with the fairies. There were two Cirnos!''

''W-w-what?!'' The fairy answered surprised. ''That can't be, there is only one me.''

''But I remember it, and I also remember both yous fighting.''

''Why would there be two of her?'' pondered Yukari.

''Maybe one of them was a fake.'' suggested Orin ''Or maybe she was a version from a different world, if that is possible.''

Okuu gave her two cents ''Maybe one was from a different time?''

''That can't be'' Cirno argued again ''How could your car travel through time? It wasn't even there when you found me.''

''Nobody mentioned a car travelling in time.'' Notice Yukari.

''Uwah! You're right! Why did I say that?''

Utsuho scratched her head, confused ''Nothing makes any sense...''

''Don't worry, I think I have a good idea of what is happening. Thanks for your help'' And Yukari vanished from the area.

Now things were starting to become clear. The memories people like Cirno, Akyuu and her had that didn't seem to fit anywhere in the flow of time were residual memory from events that were erased from story due to time travel. That meant she had tried destroying Gensokyo's balance when she was hit by a brick, and she was stopped by the three girls he had just talked to.

But if things were still going out of control (though not in the same way), that meant there was somebody else pulling the strings, maybe somebody else who had been hit by that brick. Depending on if the culprit was aware of the time travel incident or not, things could be harder for Yukari, but either way, she was going to find her and stop her (or him, but like, come on, how often have you seen a big antagonist in Touhou that was a man?).

Meanwhile, in the reactor core, Cirno had some words to say ''she didn't send me back to my home, after all''.


	5. Second Hop-inion

The three fairies and the inchling had a list of suspects, and the first one on the list was Eirin. Eirin was a medical genius, she could make odd and powerful drugs that could be the cause of many different crazy and hilarious plots, and she was so good she could do a bypass surgery on herself while being tied from her ankles to a harrier flying at full speed...or so I've heard.  
So they went to Eientei, and when they were near, a white-eared hare got in the way. It was Tewi Inaba, who introduced herself with a song.

''Hey all you people  
hey all you people  
hey all you people, won't you listen to meeeeeee?''

''Why is she singing?'' asked Luna to the other fairies.

''It must be another one of her pranks'' said Sunny.

''Well said, we better move on and ignore her'' Star tried moving away, but Tewi stopped her musical number and quickly got in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders.

''Where are you going? You can't leave in the middle of a song!''

She started spinning in place without letting Star go, and once she reached a high enough speed, she threw her to the air to send her flying like a cannon ball.

As she was soaring through the sky, another character with animal ears got hold of her and headed to the ground, smashing Star against the ground near Tewi with enough power to raise a cloud of dust that rendered them invisible.

Shinmyoumaru came out of Sunny's hair ''What a turn of events!''

Once the dut cleared off, the character was revealed to be Reisen Udongei Inaba (who else would it be?). She let Tewi jump to high five her and then moved on the important matters.

''Crazy fairies, leave or die.'' Her eyes had a fire in them rarely seen in Reisen (Well, her eye, the other one was covered by a cheap eyepatch so it couldn't be seen).

''Crazy, us? Have you seen your friend?!'' retorted the inchling

Tewi got mad when she heard that question (mad as in angry, not as in insane, which she already was) ''Don't you dare talk smack of me, you shit child! You're all crazy, we're mentally fine!''

''More than fine.'' added Reisen'' but enough of that, it's time we go from talking to punching.'' She vanished in a flash and appeared right in front Sunny, whom she gave such a fast flurry of punches that she jugled her in the air as if it were a match of Street Fighter, which meant Sunny was too busy flinching and bouncing to counter properly.

Luna could help her out, and Tewi knew that well, so she tried bumrushing her to avoid that, however she herself got her attempts at interrumpting interrupted by Star, who got up and shot her from behind with a barrage of star-shaped bullets that knocked the rabbit over.

Tewi pressed her hands against the ground before her face hit it and managed to make a forward roll and jump to very quickly regain her footing. She tried ignoring Star anyways to focus on the more important matter that was Luna in her eyes, but Star wasn't letting that happen.

The blue fairy tackled Tewi, and Tewi didn't take it well. ''Goddamn titty ass-poop!'' She screamed before grabbing her carrot pendant and stabbing Star Sapphire in the rib with it. The fairy let out a scream that sounded like one of Tom's from Tom & Jerry, but she did not stop fighting. She grabbed the necklace and pulled hard to choke her.

While they were fighting, Luna shot Reisen in the back, which opened a metaphorical window to move for Sunny and Shinmyoumaru.

The littlest of the two jumped and began climbing Reisen's hair until she reached the top. Sunny tried attacking with flames to distract Reisen meanwhile, but the rabbit made her go dizzy with the powerful stare of her crazy red eye.

After some effort Shinmyoumaru finally took Reisen's eyepatch, revealing an empty eyesocket behind it, but she fell along with it from the top of the head when Luna made Reisen lose balance by shooting her some more.

Reisen Udongei Inaba didn't take it nicely, and she took out her guns...her finger guns! With one arm in each hand (or more like one hand in each arm), she shot a barrage of bullets at Luna. Sunny managed to shoot only two fire projectiles before Reisen changed focus onto her, but that was enough to make her hair catch fire.

When she began pointing one gun at each fairy to shoot them both at once, her hair was already close to being completely covered in flames, and only then she realized.

''Isn't something burning? Oh, wait, it's just me. Doesn't matter, I can kill you while putting off the fire!'' She dropped to the dry ground on her back to smother the flames, and the fairies began making her roll like a log ''Damnit! Turns out I can't!''

They sent her rolling all the way to Tewi, who was still wrestling with Star. They both got knocked like bowling pins.

Tewi got up fast and noticed Reisen without her eyepatch.

''Reisen, your eye! What have these muddy asses done to you?!''

''Actually, I already had the eye like this from before. Somebody took it away while I was sleeping.''

''And you didn't notice?''

''You know me, Tewi, I'm a heavy sleeper.''

That was...quite the odd story for Tewi. Now she had to make an effort to look for whoever caused that. It could be almost anybody.

''Oh, whatever, I'll just blame you fairies and kill you!''

''That's not nice.'' Said Luna.

''What is this talk of nice and not nice I'm hearing?'' A voice came in, all of a sudden, from behind Tewi.

Tewi turned back and found herself face to face with Eirin Yakogoro.

''Did I just go insane or are these fairies giving you trouble?'' Her face was the definition of disgust.

''You don't understand, Eirin. They aren't just fairies, they are fairies **and an inchling**.''

''Mmh?!'' Eirin opened her eyes wide ''This isn't a simple prank then. I must take care of this myself.''

''We came to talk to you!'' Star tried to explain herself.

''I don't know what you came for, but if you want answers for me you will have to get them the way it has always been done and will always be.''

She kicked Reisen's body with strength to make it roll far from where she could be an obstacle.

''I don't need you.'' scoffed Eirin. ''Tewi, to my side!''

Tewi jumped to Eirin's side ''I've got you covered.''

Eirin looked at the four small girls ''Eientei has achieved more power than ever, this is our finest moment. Despair in the face of our unreachable glory!''

Eirin generated a bow and arrows and began shooting at the fairies while Tewi closed in and beat the crud out of them individually. Eirin was surprisingly fast with her arrows, so she could cover Tewi, Tewi was agile and could stop the fairies from getting close to Eirin.

Things seemed bad for the fairies, but Sunny managed to change the course of battle when she managed to get behind Tewi and grab her tail. The rabbit became unable to move, and fear overcame her. She stood in place gasping in horror.

Sunny laughed ''You've got careless, didn't you?'' she laughed some more ''I've got your tail!'' and she would have procedeed to pull her short puffy tail to make her fall down, but as she was placed at that moment it couldn't have been any better.

Tewi was standing as an unwilling meatshield for Sunny. From where she was standing, Eirin could not hit the fairy without striking Tewi.

''Why, you...when did you get behind me?!'' Tewi finally managed to say.

''Piccolo! Now! Attack Eirin!'' Sunny said looking at her friends.

''Who's Piccolo?'' Asked Luna. Nobody knew.

''I see you have turned the tables by not only stopping my helper but also stopping me from attacking you. However, I have ways to beat your strategy.'' Explained Eirin.

And the doctor began taking small but quick sidesteps to change angle and shoot at Sunny Milk without problems. Sunny had no choice but to let go, and the moment she did she got hit by Tewi turning around and punching her in the face.

That was a bad idea, since right at the same time, Eirin shot, and due to Tewi's movements (which of course hadn't been predicted by Eirin) the arrow didn't connect with the intended target that was Sunny's face and instead connected with a different target that was Tewi's arm.

''Shit on a goddamn tennis racket!'' Tewi shouted in surprise and pain. She turned at her ally ''What was that?! Are you trying to get me killed?!''

''My aim was right, if you hadn't moved you wouldn't be complaining now.''

Tewi began screaming curses at Eirin, making the fight stop for a while. Shinmyoumaru used that as her chance to put into action a plan of her own.

''Hey girls, I've got a plan that's bigger than me!'' she said to Luna and Star.

They listened to it and put it in action. Star jumped at Tewi to attack her, and at the same time Luna threw Shinmyoumaru at Eirin by using Reisen's eyepatch as a sling.

The little girl landed right on Eirin's face blinding her for enough time for Luna to attack her with some bullets and steal her bow. After that she kept on shooting while Star and Sunny took care of Tewi.

After some more shooting things calmed down when those two finally went down, defeated by the fairies and the inchling.

''How could this happen? Such a pathetic display...'' Eirin said.

''I told you they weren't simple fairies...ugh.''

''Alright, now could you listen to us?'' asked Star.

They complied and answered to their questions. They told them all they knew about the incident. It wasn't caused by them, one day some people began acting crazy and Eirin was asked for a cure, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn't manage to, and eventually she stopped caring about it for some reason.

''That's interesting information.'' stated Star ''but it doesn't solve our mystery.

''Atleast we have one group less in the list of culprits.'' Luna said.

''Hey, it's me, Sunny!'' suddenly blurted out the fairy who had that name ''Looks like in the next episode we are going to check out the Scarlet Devil Manor. I hope we don't get eaten.''

Luna began to worry about her friend's mental state ''Who are you talking to, Sunny? Why do you talk like that?''

Both her and Star took a closer look at Sunny and noticed something wasn't right. Her eyes had become red, they told Eirin that and she explained them she was probably suffering some temporary confusion from the battle and then told them to buzz off.

Our tiny main characters weren't pleased with those words, but since Eirin wasn't willing to help in that regard no matter what, they decided to go on their way to the next culprit with an odd Sunny, hoping that it really was just a temporary thing.

By the way, yeah, Rinnosuke was there, but Eirin had already stopped caring about healing people by the time he arrived there in one of Yukari's gaps. He instead had his bones fixed with cheap glue by some rabbits in the darkest part of the forest. Several pieces of tinfoil were glued to his body in a failed attempt at turning him into half human, half machine, half youkai (which would make him a man and a half).


	6. Oh baby, a triple!

Their next stop, as said by Sunny at the end of the previous chapter, was the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It was a mansion, and it was red, and inside lived a vampire who could control fate.

It didn't take them too long, and they were in luck when they arrived, because Remilia Scarlet, the vampire mentioned before, was just outside, lying on the floor. Sakuya was there too.

''Mistress, you shouldn't stay out in the sun, it's not good for you.''

''Chill out, Sakuya, I know what I'm doing.''

''What's going on?'' asked Star as she arrived.

''I'm busy sunbathing and Graylocks Knifeymaid is nagging on me as if she were my mother.''

''Isn't the sun bad for vampires?'' asked Luna Child.

''See, mistress? Even the fairies know it well.''

''Whatever! I'm fine, don't tell me what to do, I'm old enough to be the grandma of all of you.''

''I can't believe this...'' Sakuya facepalmed before facing the fairies ''So what do you want?''

''Star is now Reimu and we need to solve an incident'' explained Sunny

''What?''

''That doesn't matter.'' said Star ''There's an odd incident and Remilia is in our list of suspects''

''You can take me off that list, I'm not responsible for whatever you're talking about.''

''Really?'' Luna was surprised by them getting an answer so easily.

Sakuya nodded ''It's true. She has been too busy sunbathing to cause any incident these days.''

''Then that's one less suspect to worry about!'' Sunny said ''Let' s see who's next''

''It's good to have you here!'' suddenly Patchouli made her entrance (or should I say exit since she came from the mansion to outside of it?)

She came running, not floating, with her own two feet. She stopped right in front of the fairies, staring at them with big eyes that were opened wide.

''You girls are the fairies I need to solve this problem.''

Luna asked ''What problem?''

''You see, girls, I'm growing weaker and less purple with each passing second!'' she explained. But she really didn't look less purple than usual. ''I need juices to stop the de-purplerization of my self.''

She began drooling as she extended her arms towards the three fairies.

''Good juices from a fairy will do me good...so all I'm asking you is to...let me...bite on your heads and suck the juices from your little...fairy brains.''

''Thinking about it, let's check out who's the next suspect after we left this place.'' Said Sunny, and they took flight and left the area.

So while they flew away, they checked the list and found out their next objective was the Moriya Shrine. The Moriya Shrine was known for having three godesses, formerly two but then their shrine maiden became a godess too. That meant a lot of potential for causing trouble and mischief, they could be like the divine tier version of the fairies of light if they wanted to.

As they made their way to the top, they were surprised to see that nobody stopped them in their tracks. The doggy tengus were too busy chasing their own tails, and despite being a perfect place to find Aya, they didn't find her.

When they arrived at the shrine, the first thing they found was Suwako air humping to the rythm of some techno beat that came from an old cassette player.

''Hello, we came for an incident'' said Sunny. But Suwako didn't answer.

''Excuse me!'' insisted Sunny.

That time, Suwako did answer. ''Sorry, I'm busy practicing.''

''And what are you practicing?'' wondered Luna.

''I'm practicing my dance moves for the next Step Up movie.''

They didn't know what she was talking about, but atleast she was talking to them, so maybe they could get answers without a fight.

''Please, we want to ask you some questions'' began Star.

''I'd love to talk things, girls, but I can't. Practice is too important, but you can talk with Kanako, she's always happy to help others.''

They went to talk with Kanako, she wasn't busy with anything and quickly answered to their questions. But her attitude wasn't good.

''THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!'' first said Kanako.

Star explained herself ''An incident has occurred and everyone is going insane. We thought maybe you had something to do with it''

''OF COURSE, IT'S ALWAYS THE MORIYA SHRINE'' Shouted Kanako. ''THE MORIYA SHRINE MADE THE BIRD GO NUCLEAR, THE MORIYA SHRINE FAKED THE MOON LANDING, THE MORIYA SHRINE IS LITERALLY HITLER IN DISGUISE, MORIYA SHRINE THIS, MORIYA SHRINE, MORIYA, MORIYA...SHUUUT UUUUUUUP!''

THE FAIRIES WERE LEFT...oops, sorry, she got me doing the all-caps thing too. As I was saying, the fairies were left looking confused at her after that random outburst (at least it seemed random to me, don't know you).

''So...does that mean it wasn't you?'' asked Shinmyoumaru as she came out of Sunny's hair.

''UH, THE HELL?! IT'S THE INCHLING WITH THE HAMMER! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING INSIDE THAT GIRL'S HAIR?''

''I'm with them in their search'' said Sukuna. ''I'm all right now, but last week we were in a rough...''

''DON'T YOU START A GODDAMN STAND-UP ROUTINE ON ME, GET TO THE POINT!''

''Man, tough crowd. Must say, though, you're looking divine as ever, Kanako.'' quipped the small girl.

Seeing as Shinmyoumaru was going nowhere, Luna explained it herself. ''Reimu has gone insane too. She kicked us out of the shrine and ran away.''

Upon hearing that, Kanako took a moment to calm down before talking ''What? You mean Reimu has gone insane...man, that's not good.'' she sighed ''I myself am affected, I've developed a serious anger issue, but I didn't really think she would get changed too. Things really are going downhill.''

Star asked ''So it really wasn't you. Do you know about anyone who could have done it?''

''I would like to help you, but I haven't found anything or anyone capable to cause such a thing. In fact, I think this was the job of several people using their combined powers.''

''Power power power, oooooh, power.'' a whimsical voice crept it's way into the conversation.

The girls turned around and saw none other than Koishi Komeiji, flopping on the ground like a fish out of water. When Kanako saw that, she exploded (not in a literal sense, of course, even if it is something that could perfectly happen after all the weird stuff).

''OH, MOTHER OF A F-. YOU JUST HAD TO COME HERE AGAIN AND RUIN A GOOD DAY!''

''Hey, chill out, gurl.'' Koishi said, still flopping. ''You have to enjoy life at it's fullest. YOLO, dude.''

''GREAT, YOU JUST BLURTED OUT AN EXPRESSION THAT DOESN'T APPLY TO ANYONE OF US!''

''What in the world's happening here, gals?'' Sanae jumped into the scene with a double barreled shotgun in hand. One quick glance and she understoond everything. ''By my uncle's practice bra! It's that floppy girl!''

''Yeah yeah yeah, it's me.'' Cheerfully stated Koishi.

''You ain't escaping this time around. I'm gonna get you!'' She fired twice at Koishi, but she missed both shots.

''Ooops, I'm getting shot again!'' Koishi got on her two legs and legged it out of there. ''See ya later, Alligator!''

''I AM A GODDAMN SNAKE, NOT AN ALLIGATOR!'' Corrected her Kanako.

''Whatever, it's the same thiiiiiiiiiing!'' Said Koishi as she dissapeared into the horizon.

Kanako had to make a big effort to not scratch at her face. She got up and made her plans clear.

''I WILL CHASE THAT GIRL, THIS IS THE LAST TIME SHE ANNOYS ME!'' she pointed at the way Koishi had gone ''SANAE, YOU COME WITH ME! SUWAKO, YOU STAY THERE AND PROTECT THE SHRINE!''

Suwako put a thumb up to say ''okay'' without a single word, while still doing her pelvic thrusts.

''We can't let them go alone!'' Said Sunny. ''I think Koishi could have something to do with all of this. And she's on the list, right?''

Luna nodded ''She is.''

''Then let's skip a few of the suspects right now and go get her!'' Sunny ordered.

The three fairies and two godesses flew in the direction that Koishi had gone at high speed. After a while of flying, they managed to find her just in time to see her enter the Palenquin Ship, which was flying in the skies.

Kanako entered the ship first, crashing through one of the sides of the ship. The rest got in by using the hole created by Kanako.

''KOISHIIIIIIIII!'' began screaming Kanako ''YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTH!'' she cleared her sore throat a bit before adding ''Or the ends of Gensokyo, most likely.''

''You either come out or we tear this boat appart!'' Sanae shot three times in a row at the air with her shogun.

''Something's odd about the ship.'' Said Luna ''Hadn't it turned into a shrine? Why would they turn it back into a ship?''

''Maybe they needed to move for some kind of plan! They could be the culprits!'' deduced Sunny.

''I don't remember them being in the list of suspects.'' stated Star.

Sunny mulled over it a bit, but then just said ''Well, we will find out after this fight, probably.''

Meanwhile, Kanako had finished screaming and a woman with a dark blue hood appeared. It was Ichirin Kumoi, holding her ring.

''You are not allowed in here! Leave this place now!''

''WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?! WE ARE THE GODESSES OF THE MORIYA SHRINE!''

Star added ''And three fairies.''

''You leave me no choice, then!'' Ichirin called forth Unzan, who had a giant cloudy body that towered over all of them. ''This is the power of two!''

Ichirin flew to the fairies and started shooting stuff at them. Unzan meanwhile flew to the godesses and kept them distracted for about 3 seconds. After that time, Sanae blew and the pink cloud was blown away by the wind without any fanfare.

''This can't be!'' exclaimed Ichirin ''he's supposed to be the brainless muscle guy of the duo!''

''It's five against one, and you're out of ammo.'' said Sanae ''You either lead us to where you have Koishi hidden or...'' she aimed her shotgun at her.

''I shall never submit to threats!'' Defiant, Ichirin threw her ring as if she were in that movie Tron, with the guy called Tron.

But her aim was kind of shoddy, and the ring hit the shotgun, making sanae drop her weapon and the ring bounce and hit Star. The ring pierced her chest and it got stuck there.

They all stared at it surprised, and right after Star dropped dead while letting out a little ''ouch''.

''Well, that was unexpected...'' Sanae said. ''Anyways, just let me grab my gun and...'' she turned to grab it, but she found herself face to face with captain Murasa, who quickly headbutted her before grabbing the shotgun and running to Ichirin's side.

''So, looking for this?'' She asked while twirling the shotgun with just one finger on the trigger. Do take note that this would be phisically impossible for a human, and also it would be against the rules of gun safety. Don't do this at home unless everything and everyone in the area (including you) is bulletproof.

''SO THE CAPTAIN SHOWS TO JOIN THE FIGHT?!''

''As captain, I cannot leave me tripulation to die. I will help Ichirin; in the name of me great-great-great-grandpappy, may he rot in hell!''

''YOU'LL JOIN HIM THERE SOON!'' Kanako summoned a wave of projectiles at the two, which Murasa managed to block by creating a few giant anchors around her.

She then threw the anchors towards Kanako. Kanako grabbed the first of the anchors and used it to hit the rest out of the way, making them crash against different parts of the ship.

As that battle raged on, Ichirin tried getting her ring back, but both the ring and Star's corpse were gone. She quickly looked around to see if it was anywhere near. Maybe she was in the wrong place.

''Looking for this?'' Sunny Milk suddenly hovered in front of her, holding the ring.

''Give that back, if you know what is right!''

''Take it then!'' Sunny threw it fast, and right as she did so, Shinmyoumaru jumped from her hair to hold onto it.''

Ichirin turned to try grabbing the ring as it passed by her left, at which moment Luna closed in on her right and shot projectiles at point blank range. Sunny joined in, and Ichirin was overwhelmed by all the bullets.

The ring kept going and hit Murasa in the head, making her flinch. Shinmyoumaru, moved by instinct, took flight and shot at her, knocking her back.

''I can't believe I forgot I could do this!''

''Let me fill that empty head o' yours with some lead.'' Murasa tried shooting the little girl four times in a row without reloading, but she gracefully dodged the shots.

''You're doing it wrong, pal.'' Said Sanae to Murasa ''I'll show you how to shoot.''

She shot a stream of pentagrams at high speed that hit the captain in the chest, sending her flying towards a wall.

''HERE, TAKE THIS BACK!'' Kanako threw the anchor she was still holding. It crashed against Murasa, breaking the wall behind her.

Murasa fell out while the ship kept going without captain.

''This is bad, I am now alone... .'' Icihirin said.

''Even worse, I've lost my shotgun.'' Sanae added

''You must not worry about material things.'' A voice echoed through the ship.

Followed by the arrival of the woman who said that. It was...Dumblydore. Nah, just kidding, it was actually Byakuren.

''There is only one thing you visitors should worry about, and that is the beating your butts are about to receive.''

''AS TO BE EXPECTED OF BYAKUREN HIJIRI! A FOOL TO THE VERY END, WHO'D GLADLY GIVE HER LIFE FOR THE BRAINLESS PUPPETS SHE CALLS FOLLOWERS!''

''This is the problem that keeps you away from enlightenment despite being a god. You cannot understand the value of life, instead using gods as light snacks to treat other people's pets.''

''WHAT ARE YOU, THE FINAL BOSS IN SOME TRIPLE A JRPG? YOU EITHER MOVE OR DIE TRYING TO DEFEND THAT BRAIN-DEAD SATORI YOU RECRUITED, EITHER IS FINE WITH ME!''

''So it isn't simple destruction that you seek?''

''It's destruction, but focused on a specific target.'' Sanae explained.

''QUIET YOU, OR YOU'RE GROUNDED.''

''Is that how you treat those close to you?'' Byakuren asked ''I think they would be better in this ship, away from you.''

Kanako clenched her fists and her breathing became more calm ''You can talk bad about me, and you can get in the way of my objectives, but if you don't take back those words, I will make you wish death.''

''I never thought of you as a family woman, how interesting...'' Byakuren sneered.

''I'm not sure if this is me talking or it's only the result of all the changes that Gensokyo is suffering, but right now I don't care. All I care about is that I am angry, and I want to reach Koishi.''

''Well, I want you all out of this ship, you are not welcome here.'' Byakuren addressed Ichirin without looking at her. ''Ichirin, old friend, I regret to inform you that Nazrin and Shou sneaked out of here to get some frosty chocolate milkshakes, but you have me here to help.''

There was no answer, so Byakuren turned around to see Ichirin was busy fighting with Sunny and Luna.

''You aren't suppossed to fight before I'm done talking, you know?'' she said to the fairies and Ichirin.

''It's not my fault, these wicked creatures attacked me without warning while I was listening to you.''

''Then I have to help you teach them a les...'' Byakuren was interrupted when several projectiles shot by Shinmyoumaru hit her in the head. ''Alright, enough chit-chat, I'm gonna kick your asses!''

She managed to grab tiny Sukuna. She then threw her to the ground and kicked her with strength to send her flying and hit Sanae's face. Right after, she broke a piece of the floor below her with her fist and pulled out a Harley Davidson from there.

She got on the bike and went at full speed. She crashed against the fairies of light, causing an explosion that sent everyone in different directions.

''And I've got atleast 5 more of those bikes under the floor!''

Luna got back up and took flight again. Sunny followed right behind, and quickly began talking as if she had only received a minor scratch.

''That woman is a problem, but we can do this!''

''We already had trouble against one, and we don't even have Star in the team.'' Luna said.

''Don't worry about that, she should come back soon. They can't kill us, so if we keep going we'll eventually defeat them!''

Luna didn't feel too relieved with those words, but Sunny went back to fight, and she couldn't stay back and leave her alone.

As they flew towards Ichirin, Sukuna joined in and the three together showered her with bullets. Having gotten the drop on her, she was unable to react as the projectiles landed on her, but Byakuren got in the way of the bullets and stopped them with her own body. She flinched as they hit her, but she was much more tough than her hooded subordinate.

Since she was at such a close range, Byakuren charged a big barrage of projectiles to shoot down the fairies and maybe Shinmyoumaru, but Sanae grabbed her and made her turn around at the last second to make her hit Ichirin, who received every single bullet and was knocked down.

She still managed to get up again despite it, and pulled out her ring, which she had managed to find after the bike explosion.

''I will not fall! The Palenquin needs me to protect it, if I lose now I'll have failed everyone!'' She did a pose like the characters from Dragon Ball charging ki and, and flew like a speeding bullet (a very fast bullet), tackling Sanae and crashing against a wall.  
She wasn't done there, she then headbutted the green girl, sinking her more and more into the walls of the ship with every hit. She would have continued until there was nothing left to hit there, but Kanako stopped her by shooting at her, which not only hurt her but also got her attention, much like Kanako wanted.

Ichirin tried to hit her with ring, but Kanako generated four logs to make a shield. Splinters scattered through the air on impact, but the shield remained strong and unmovable. Right after, Kanako made the logs change formation and she used them to hit Ichirin with enough force to knock her back flying through the air.

She managed to recover in the last second and land on her feet near Byakuren, who was busy fighting the small girls. Seeing that as an opportunity to take them down, she dashed towards Sunny, and swung her ring vertically to bash Sunny's skull in. The orange fairy tried stopping the ring with her hands, but she alone couldn't possibly beat Ichirin's newfound strength.

Yet the ring was stopped, somebody had helped Sunny. She raised her head to see who it was and she saw Star Sapphire. She was back again, and about time too (though she wasn't in the mood, probably).

''You've come back after I killed you?!'' asked Ichirin, surprised.

''Alright!'' Sunny said ''Let's show her what we can do together when we're serious!''

They pushed back and shot at her, sending her backwards a few inches and making her lose her guard just enough for Luna and Shinmyoumaru to join in crash against her to finally make her go through one of the holes previously made in the walls of the ship.

As she fell out of the Palenquin, she screamed like tobey maguire in Spiderman 2. Everyone stood in silence for a second when they heard such an odd thing. And the silence was finally broken when Byakuren said ''I guess I won't be able to use her as a blunt weapon now...''.

She shook her head and set that aside ''Alright, either way, I still stand between you and whatever sick objectives you may have'' she pointed at Kanako ''Ichirin had only a tenth part of my full power, don't think victory is on your side!''

''You're forgetting something!'' Said Sunny

''Just one of us can't beat you.'' continued Luna

''But together, joining forces, we are stronger than you'' finished Star.

''What? I wasn't talking to you three'' explained Byakuren.

''But they're right, you know?'' Shinmyoumaru popped out of Byakuren's hair and jumped back to the top of Sunny's head ''Get ready to have a blast!''

''I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS WITHOUT ME!'' Kanako joined in the girls.

Sanae stumbled her way to the group and stopped to breath before saying ''Yeah, count me in too''.

They all charged a combined energy blast and threw it at Byakuren, who stood there talking.

''A combination attack! And so little time to get out of the way. Now less. Now none!'' And she was hit, causing a great explosion that sent her to the floor defeated.

''I think we made it...'' Luna said.

''Yes, it looks like she won't get up again.'' agreed Star.

''VERY WELL, TELL US WHERE THAT STUPID GREEN HAIRED GIRL.''

''Hey...'' Sanae said.''

''NOT YOU, SANAE, YOU'RE A INTELLIGENT GIRL.''

With what little strenght she had before fainting, she stated ''She's...piloting this ship.''

''THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, SHE WOULD HAVE CRASHED AGES AGO.''

And as if she had jinxed it, the ship crashed against the ground right after. The whole thing was broken into pieces, and the girls were buried below them. Yet a few seconds after, everyone popped out of there, with Kanako being the last...and the angriest.

''YOU PIECE OF CRAP! COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!''

''You called?'' Koishi finally arrived.

''THAT'S IT! FINALLY, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!''

''Chirl, gull!'' spoonered (is that a verb? I don't think it is) Koishi

''I WILL, BUT FIRST I WILL DEAL WITH YOU!''

''Deal with me? More like ''deal with it''! You gotta cheer up if you want to live longer than 60 years old!''

''SIXTY DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER A SMALL PORTION OF MY LIFE! YOU ARE AN IGNORANT, A FOOL, AND MOST OF ALL A NUISSANCE!''

''Yeah, yeah, whatever, let me drop you a freestyle that'll...''

But Kanako interrupted her, with just one punch. The fist sunk all the way into Koishi's face and she got knocked the frick out. She wouldn't get up in a looong while after that.

Kanako looked at her unconscious body at delivered a one-liner ''YOU'RE GROUNDED!''

It wasn't the best line ever, but after all the fighting, everyone cheered loudly as if it had been.

''That was great!'' Sunny shouted.

''But I think she wasn't the culprit, she would have said it if she was.'' Star explained.

''That's a good point'' Sunny acknowledged.

And Luna asked the important question ''So who's next on the list?''

''There is no time for that right now.'' The voice of Yukari was suddenly heard behind the fairies.

They turned around and saw her, she was smiling but looking at her eyes they knew she had something important to tell them.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _It took it's time to arrive, huh? Sorry for the wait, several days passed where I didn't feel like advancing the episode once I got to the part where they fight in the ship, but then I started advancing a tiny bit every day and eventually I got to the end and when I uploaded this I realized how much bigger than the previous episodes it was. I knew it was longer, but I didn't think it would be 3904 words, almost 4000! For some people this isn't much, but for the standards of this silly fanfic it's quite an ammount...but now that I think about it, the size isn't what I was meant to talk about._

 _Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and it was worth the wait for those who follow the story, few as they might be._


	7. Old news and new,er, news

''Well I'll be damned, if it's Yukari Yakumo'' Said Sanae ''Are you here to be mysterious again?''

''No, I need to talk with the fairies about their discoveries.''

''Our discoveries?'' Sunny asked.

''Yes, any detail out of the ordinary could help us discover the truth.''

So they told her about the different people they saw and how they had been changed. When she heard everything, she made a comment on what called her attention.

''So you say Reisen was missing an eye?''

''Yes, she explained they pulled it out of her head while she was asleep.'' Luna added.

''Interesting. I myself saw Youmu, and she was missing an arm that had been cut.''

''Did you ask Eirin about any of that?'' Sanae asked.

''We didn't think it would be that important'' Sunny said.

Star also said ''The only ones who could know are Reisen and the culprit, and Reisen didn't see anything.''

''But maybe she knows something about Youmu's arm''

''Sanae isn't wrong. I should go there and ask.'' Yukari answered.

''And what about us?'' inquired Sunny.

Yukari simply looked at them for a brief moment before pushing the fairies (and Shinmyoumaru, of course) into a gap and jumping in herself too.

Meanwhile, at Eientei Eirin was in her clinic, like always. She was doing nothing at all since she wasn't in the mood to do anything. However, she was quickly forced to react when a gap opened in front of her, from where Yukari, the inchling and the fairies came out.

''Why are you getting in here without permision?'' demanded to know Eirin.

''You know us doc, we just want some answers.'' Shinmyoumaru said.

Star explained further ''We would like to know if Youmu Konpaku ever visited you with a missing arm.''

''A missing arm? The answer is negative, if I had seen something like that I would remember it, even if it was after I stopped caring about healing.''

''And how long has it been since you last cared?'' Yukari asked her.

''It has been perhaps a week''

''And about other patients, did you see Aya Shameimaru?''

''I did not.''

''Why are you asking about Aya?'' wondered Luna.

''I haven't seen her at all, despite all the other things I have seen that she wouldn't miss a chance to photograph and write about. And if a week has passed, I find it odd that an issue of the bunbunmaru hasn't talked about Eirin's change.''

''Of course!'' exclaimed Sunny ''then that makes Aya a big suspect.''

''But if she were culprit, who would write the paper?'' Luna asked her.

''Maybe she got someone else to do the job for her?''

Any further hypothesis would be left for later, as a loud scream coming from outside got everyone's attention.

''Isn't that Rinnosuke's voice?'' asked Star.

''That is his voice. It's not the first time I hear him scream like that, so he's likely to be fine'' Eirin explained.

''Wether he is fine or not, I think it's a good idea to see what happens.'' Yukari said.

So they went out and followed the direction of the scream, leading them to a darker part of the forest. There, a group of rabbits (that is to say girls with rabbit ears who are real rabbits) greeted them. One of them stood out from the crowd due to her larger size compared to the rest, and the fact that she wasn't a rabbit at all.

''Welcome to our secret hidden clinic.'' it was Hatate who said that. ''We are rabbits who pride themselves in healing people.''

''But you're not a rabbit'' Said Luna.

''Woah, there!'' Hatate was shocked ''What makes you think I don't have a medical license?''

''No one said anything about your license.'' Star told her.

''Oh, you didn't?!'' She looked side to side quickly in a shifty way before coming up with a excuse ''Well, you were thinking it!''

She changed subject after that, to avoid any more mentions of her medical license ''Anyways, what do you need?''

Yukari explained in few words ''We were brought here by following the screams of pain of a man.''

''That sounds like our most recent patient. He's been having some trouble adapting to his new body, and so he needed to come back for another surgery.''

''You call this surgery?'' Rinnosuke got in the conversation. He was covered in tinfoil and burn marks. ''Look at me! I'm not healed of anything!''

Hatate put her hands in her hips and made an odd grimace as she looked closer at Rinnosuke's body. ''Well, if you can walk and complain like that I think you're fine.''

''That's absurd! I have pieces of tinfoil all over my body, and my body is full of glue!''

''It was the best course of action. Your whole body was broken. Anyways, it was the highest quality glue, capable of drying in seconds.''

''Then what about burning me alive?!''

''The glue doesn't dry too fast, so the fire was needed to make it solid and keep the bones together.''

''And what about this tinfoil?!'' Rinnosuke kept with his questions.

''Is is that hard to guess? Not only did we heal you, we put you in the first step towards a better style of life: Transhumanism! Nothing like some robot parts to make your life more exciting.''

She wasn't exactly right, since in good ol' Kourin's case, it would be transhalfumanism (or maybe transhalfhumanhalfyoukaism)

''This isn't transhumanism! This is garbage! If you like tinfoil so much why don't you glue it all over yourself?''

''Only a fool would replace parts of their own body with artificial parts.'' Hatate replied, completely serious.

Luna tried talking ''Didn't you just say...'' and she was interrupted by Rinnosuke shouting at Hatate.

''You've angered me for the last time!''

''Isn't Rinnosuke acting weird?'' Star asked the rest of the group.''Maybe he's also affected.''

''Yes, I also feel like he's not being himself.'' agreed Sunny.

''It could be, or it could be he's really angry.'' Said Shinmyoumaru, still in Star's hair ''Perhaps these girls foiled his daily plans by making him waste his time here.''

Yukari concluded ''Even if he were changed, we should wait to see how things turn out. In the best of cases, they will stop without fighting and we will be able to get answers from both of them without wasting time in a battle, unlikely as it might be.''

Rinnosuke let out a shout of war ''I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!''

He was ready to do so, but all of a sudden Aya appeared, and everyone's attention was on her.

''Looks like I've arrived at a good moment to catch a big scoop.''

''Aya, it's you!'' Said Sunny.

''Yes, just me, Aya Shameimaru.''

Hatate's face didn't even try hiding her disgust. ''Have you really come here just to find a scoop?''

''Not at all. It might surprise you, but I have a problem, and nobody at the clinic wants to help me.''

''I think I can imagine what your problem is.'' Yukari commented as she looked at Aya's legs...or what was left of them, atleast.  
Aya was missing her legs, they seemed to had been cut clean.

''Who did this to you?'' Asked Star.

''I'm not sure, I don't remember anything about losing my legs. I have a strange feeling that I cut them myself, but that doesn't make any sense.''

''Well, I'm not a detective.'' Hatate stated ''Don't try to get me to solve your mystery.''

''I didn't come for that. I wanted to get new legs to replace the old ones.''

''Is that so? Too bad, I don't have a medical license, so I can't do anything about it!''

''It doesn't have to be you, it could be any of the rabbits in here as long as they know what they are doing.''

''That's too bad because we don't have spare legs.''

''I saw that pair of legs you're keeping while I was being ``operated´´.'' Rinnosuke said.

''Oh, that? That's no good. One day Reimu came in and gave it to us.''

''Reimu?!'' Everyone was taken aback, and Yukari was the only one to ask without letting her surprise exposed in her voice.

''Yes, a few days ago she came and dropped those legs near us without saying a thing. I think she believed we hadn't seen her, but I got a good look at her.''

''It can't be! Reimu might actually be the culprit!'' Sunny was close to panicking.

''If it's her, maybe we could have to do something to prevent this.'' Luna pondered.''

Shinmyoumaru calmed down and said ''It isn't anything to lose our heads over, it's just a few lost limbs.''

''It's not just the limbs, it's also the changes she's making in people. Like you.'' Star explained.

''Me? Changed? Didn't I tell you I'm as me as I've always been?''

Yukari gave her two cents about the situation ''We're assuming that the culprit of these changes is Reimu because she seems suspect of being the one who cut Aya's limbs.''

''She can't possibly be innocent.'' Hatate said.

''Of course, but if she is the one behind all of this, she won't look like always.''

''What do you mean?'' Asked Sunny.

''We have a thief in Gensokyo who has taken Reisen's eye and Aya's leg. On top of that, Youmu's arm was missing, and so was her Katana. I believe they were all stolen to be used by the culprit in some way.''

''That's quite the story you're telling us, Yukari.'' Shinmyoumaru said, and then asked ''What makes you think that?''

''The three fairies told me about Reisen using her powers to render Sunny temporarily insane, making her act in way much like all of those who have been altered by the culprit. In other words, Reisen's stolen eye has been used to cause all of this.''

''But I don't remember anything different about Reimu's body, her eyes were the same as always.'' Luna explained.

The rest of her friends said the same.

''Then I would say she isn't the one turning everyone insane, although that doesn't mean there isn't a connection between Reimu and the culprit.''

''So that's that, then.'' Rinnosuke tried changing subject ''Now, about my body...''

''Actually, there is one last thing I'd like to ask. Hatate, could you give us a photograph of Reimu leaving the severed legs?''

''You're asking the best for that'' Assured Hatate.

With a bit of time, she made a photo with her powers of thoughtography, and everyone got to see Reimu in detail.

''There is nothing different in her body. And those are my legs she's carrying!''

''How do you know that, Aya?'' wondered Star.

''Come on, she's been with that pair of legs for hundreds of years. Of course she'd recognize them'' Shinmyoumaru said.

''Then, we should go find Reimu and ask her about this.'' Sunny concluded.

''Yes, but where could she be?'' asked Luna.

On cue, an anvil fell from the sky, hitting the ground right near Yukari and Star. Surprisingly, Start didn't get hurt.  
They all looked up, and they saw the Hakurei Shrine soaring the sky. Reimu seemed to be in there, showing frustration probably for not managing to hit anyone with the anvil.

''What a good coincidence for us.'' Yukari commented.

''We should get into the shrine while we can and stop Reimu.'' Said Star.

''Yes, you should do exactly that. Let's move.''

''I'll be behind you soon enough, but first I need to get my legs stitched back.'' explained Aya.

Rinnosuke pouted ''Not me, I'm going home. I've got enough of this.''

And so, our group of five flew into the Shrine to discover the true culprit and settle things. Whatever awaited them up there, it would give them a big battle.


	8. The bigger than average battle

They didn't take long to arrive at the shrine, where the doors seemed to open themselves to allow the group in. When they entered, the doors closed and a being hidden in the shadows began getting closer.

''So it has come to this. In the end, I cannot fulfill my plans without a battle. Such is the nature of Gensokyo.''

Everyone was ready for a fight, the tension was rising, at any moment a big battle would come. The shadows were cast away by light, and the figure's identity was revealed as...

Yamame Kurodani. She was standing there, fearless and imposing, and giving her back to the other girls while facing a wall. She quickly realized her mistake.

''Oops, sorry!'' She turned around to face the right direction.

She was carrying Youmu's Katana, Roukanken, in a sheath on her hip. Also, one of her eyes was red like Reisen's. There was no doubt that she had parts of other residents of Gensokyo.

''So you're the culprit, after all?'' Star asked.

''Yes, I am. And since you've made such a big effort to get to me, I guess you deserve an explanation.''

Yamame slowly walked from one side to the other without making any eye contact, stopping to turn around at the end of each sentence.

''Change is an inevitable thing in the world, without it existence would soon become stale and not worth living.''

''Each one of us changes the world that surrounds us to some deg...you know what? I'm not going through a long speech. Let's just say I'm going to kill you.''

''But why are you doing all of this? You can't just not tell us after all of this.'' Sunny replied.

''Maybe you're right. I will explain to you.'' she stopped in place and looked at the girls in the eyes. ''Remember when you were visited by the hell raven and the kasha? I was there in a way, I was the purple brick.''

''Then how aren't you dead?'' wondered Luna.

''Simple, I once was the brick, but now I am more than that. It all began dozens of years ago, back when a dumb man tried to build a new and improved Hakurei Shrine made of nothing but brick, despite having no connection with the Hakurei Shrine, he managed to gather resources for it, but he was sadly stopped when the shrine maiden of the time found out about it.

Most of the bricks were used for other purposes, but I wasn't as lucky. I was left unused, and with time I became alive and learned an important lesson about change, and the nature of it.

Then the day came when another human decided to throw me to the underground, and I hit Yamame in the head. As it turns out, this caused my consciousness to move into her body, allowing me to possess her.

I saw it as a sign, a message, I had to use my newfound powers to promote change throughout Gensokyo to make it the way I wanted. I started giving you the old brick, expecting it to end hitting someone important, and that's what happened.

I thought I would get to control her directly too, but it didn't work that way. I can only possess this body, and trying to move to another could go badly and end with me without a body. However, Yukari ended crazy and compliant, and with her powers of gaps and my magnificient plan, I could go around hitting anybody who came to my mind with a brick.''

''She also brought people from outside, and modified a few residents of this land, but I never asked for that. It was a wonderful, perfect plan, and then the bird, the kasha and the ice fairy ruined it by going back in time and destroying my old body.''

''That's why you decided to steal Reisen's eye instead.'' stated Yukari.

''That's right, and I spent time mastering its use to make people be like I wanted them to be. And on the way, I decided I could steal other body parts and substitute mine by attaching them with my sticky string to make a perfect body, but things didn't go as well as planned. For example, Aya's legs didn't make me as fast as her.''

Finally having finished her speech, she put her hand to the hilt of the katana and got ready to battle ''And now, no more words, the moment you've all been waiting f-''

The three fairies interrupted her by charging at her at once while covered by projectiles. She got hit right in the chest and they all crashed against a wall.

Yamame (or whatever she should be called in that situation) recovered fast from the impact, reacting quick by grabbing Star and using her as a club to swat away the other two fairies. She then proceeded to smack Star against the ground a bit before throwing her away. Right after, she was shot in the face by Shinmyoumaru, who was flying right in front of her face like a pesky mosquito; thanks to her short size she had managed to avoid her sight while jumping out from Sunny's hair.

Yamame tried punching the little girl, but a gap opened right in front of her, making the fist go in through it and out of another one that appeared right on top of her head. She hit herself hard enough to get dizzy for a second, a second which Shinmyoumaru used to stab her in the punching arm.

The brick-possessed spider woman screamed in pain, it was nothing but a incoherent shout, but somene answered to it.

''You called?'' It was Reimu.

''You should have been here from the beginning!''

''Hey, be happy that I let you live here!''

''Don't talk back! I made you, and I can destroy you!''

''I'll have to rethink about letting you live here! But first, I have to deal with a few girls who don't learn their lesson.'' And Reimu began kicking butt.

She kicked Shinmyoumaru in the butt, she kicked Star in the butt and then Star's butt was kicked (a second time!). There wouldn't be a fourth kick in the butt, since the girl who's ass was going to be kicked (that's Yukari) blocked with her parasol, which she then used to hit Reimu in the gut.

Following that, Yukari started spawning lasers to strike Reimu with, the barrage was relentless and Reimu was being hit by every single one. She only got saved by Yamame shooting web to cover Yukari's face and blind her, after which she got down and dirty, giving her a few mean punches before pulling out Roukanken to chop at her pleasure.

Yukari managed to take off the web from her face and closed her parasol. She began dodging and parrying away with it.

The fairies and the inchling tried to stop it, and Reimu intercepted them. She began by hitting Shinmyoumaru with the gohei, followed by using it to point at star while she delivered a comment.

''Look at you! First you try to mooch off me and now you try replacing me! You're disgusting, you didn't even get the color right! And where is your gohei?!''

''The gohei?'' Star thought about it ''I think we left it in Marisa's house during our investigation.''

''You disgust me.'' She generated a ying-yang orb and threw it at Star.

Star managed to hit it back with some bullets, making it fly back and pass over Reimu's head. Luna an Sunny seized the chance and flew towards the orb, hiting it in the air with more projectiles to change its course again and hit Yamame in the back. This stopped the spider woman's attacks, and Yukari hit her with several traffic signs coming from a gap.

Yamame was sent back flying until she hit Reimu. When they got back up on their feet from the impact, Yamame barked an ominous sounding order.

''Things aren't going well, it's time to use that power.''

''I don't think so.'' replied Reimu.

''Don't be lazy!''

''Don't make me turn this shrine around and put it back in its original palce!''

Yamame groaned loudly before trying something different. ''Alright...'' and she suddenly shouted ''Yuugi! Get here now!''

From the floor bursted Yuugi Hoshiguma, the big Oni, or ``Yuugi the strong´´, as some know her.

''Kill!'' Yuugi said as she flexed her arms. Or rather, her arm, since one of them was missing.

Shimyoumaru observed that ''She's missing one hand and you still ask her to lend you the other? Kind of cruel, don't you think?''

''Oh, she already lent me a whole arm.'' Yamame said as she raised one of hers. ''I don't think she'll mind.''

''Enough talk! I will kill you and get drunk on your blood!''

''Yes, I guess after you're done with them you can take a break from carrying the shrine over your shoulders.''

''Yes! I will!'' Yuugi began shooting short lasers everywhere, hitting everyone in the room, her allies included.

Right after, she jumped at Sunny and began pounding with her one fist. Luna and Star tried to stop her, and Yuugi countered by kicking them away.

Shinmyoumaru instead went for Yamame. She grabbed the needle, which was still lodged in the spider's arm, and pulled hard to take it out of there. With great effort she managed to take it out, causing great pain to Yamame, who tried to cut her down.

Both the spider and the red shrine maiden were hit then by the DeLorean, which was thrown by Yukari by means of a gap. Shinmyoumaru didn't let the chance go to waste, and threw the needle at Yuugi.

The oni stopped the needle in the air with her hand and crushed it, accidentally letting Sunny free. The fairy took the oportunity to escape and shoot Yuugi in the face, which made her flinch but not much more. Yuugi managed to answer with a swift punch that sent Sunny back, where Star caught her in the air.

Luna and Shinmyoumaru meanwhile kept shooting at Yuugi and doing an alright job at dodging her attacks; a few of them were worryingly close, but they were doing fine. Reimu jumped in to change that with flying kick that knocked Luna flat on her butt.

Then Reimu got shoved to the ground and stomped by Yuugi, who's thirst for blood was stronger than her team spirit. Reimu called forth a wave of talismans that hit the oni to get her off of her. With that done, she got up on her feet and tried stabbing Shinmyoumaru with the gohei.

The little girl was quicker, she managed to dodge and grab onto it with one hand as she shot projectiles with the other at Reimu's arm to make her loosen her grip. The shrine maiden felt the pain, but she merely clenched her teeth and gave the inchling a headbutt. Yuugi followed by knocking down Reimu with a hit from her elbow and grabbing Shinmyoumaru before going for Sunny and Star.

On the way, she stopped to look at Shinmyoumaru, who was biting her hand with strength but to no avail. As she stared beffudled at the tiny girl, Luna got back into the battle and together with the other two fairies started generating a huge amount of bullets that joined together into a big ball of projectiles to throw at Yuugi.

The big mass of energy was sent flying quick and hit the oni, causing her to lift off the ground and be blasted backwards, letting Shinmyoumaru go in the process. Despite it, she managed to land on all four (well, all three, but you know what I mean) like a dog, and like one she lunged at the girls, still running with her legs and arm.

Meanwhile, the possessed Yamame was throwing all she had at Yukari. Bullets went flying all around the place, but Yukari managed to avoid and cover herself from all of them. Yamame was clearly in a hurry, and that made her less efficient in battle.

Noting this, Yukari said ''Without Yuugi carrying the shrine, we will hit the ground soon. That's why you're trying to end this battle fast.''

''Don't think it'll be so soon. Right after you got inside Yuugi started making this place ascend very high, just as I had ordered her.''

Yukari created a gap on top of Yamame to make a tombstone fall on her. The possessed tsuchigumo hastily created a spider web that slowed it down for her to hit and send towards Yukari.

The woman with the parasol dodged without much trouble, and the stone broke through the floor, revealing their altitude. They were still far from the ground, but at the speed the building was falling, it wouldn't take too long for it to crash. Even worse, they were right above Youkai Mountain.

''Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!'' Yamame shrieked ''Yuugi! Yuugi! Yuugi, come here, you need to lift this thing right now!''

There was no answer, Yuugi was blinded (and deafened, it seems) by rage. With her out of the equation, she called to Reimu. The shrine maiden, while checking her body was still unbroken, answered.

''I can't do that myself, I only lifted it the first time because you were inside the shrine helping me.''

''What?!'' Star said, while still busy fighting Yuugi ''How long have you been inside without us knowing?''  
''Ever since I hypnotized Reimu, that's all you need to know.'' she dismissed the fairy. ''Now get to helping me, Reimu!''

''Coming right now...''

Yukari shot at them and they barely tried dodging. They flew at high speed into the hole, ignoring whatever damage the bullets might have done to them. Yukari followed them.

''Have you really come to stop us?! You're crazy, we'll all die if this shrine falls!''

''I doubt any of us would die from that'' Yukari replied ''losing the shrine would be a shame, but in the long run it wouldn't be a setback for anybody but you.''

''You must think you're very clever, I liked you better when you were changed by my old brick body!''

''I, on the other hand, would like nothing less than going back to that state.''

''Your comments will only motivate me to kill you faster...by ordering Reimu to fight you!''

''No way'' Reimu refused ''You do it yourself, you mooch!''

Yamame sighed ''Alright...I get no respect for a mastermind.''

With only one of them holding the shrine, the only thing they could do was slow down the eventual impact against Youkai mountain. If Yamame wanted to stop it, she had to defeat Yukari fast, on the other hand all Yukari needed was to hold on until the inevitable happened.

The spider began with a barrage of projectiles, big enough to create a wall that blocked view. Yukari prepared her parasol to block all that, yet Yamame bursted through the wall of bullets with Roukanken in hand and cut the parasol in half, leaving her oponent with one less resource in battle.

Yamame kept at it, she charged at Yukari to chop her up like, as Merriam Webster dictionary defines it, ``a sandwich consisting of a patty of hamburger in a split typically round bun´´. Yukari reacted in time, opening a gap between the two of them which the spider woman went through. The exit was another gap that opened close to Reimu, who got hit by a high-speed Yamame.

To finish it off, Yukari also threw at them through a gap the anvil that Reimu dropped before. This sent them flying far from the shrine for enough time, but just to make sure, Yukari closed in to them and kept applying pressure by shooting lasers at them.

Meanwhile, at the Moriya Shrine, Suwako was still doing her pelvic thrusts and Kanako was sitting near a tree in an attempt to calm down, but what progress she might had achieved was wasted when she noticed something in the sky.

''THIS MUST BE A JOKE!''

''What's the matter, Kanako?'' Asked her frog goddess friend.

Without answering her, Kanako shouted towards her shrine ''SANAE, YOU BETTER GET OUT OF THE SHRINE RIGHT NOW!''

Sanae came out of the shrine in an instant ''What happens?''

''LOOK UP THERE, THE GODDAMN HAKUREI SHRINE IS GOING TO FALL ON TOP OF OURS! I WANTED YOU TO GET OUT JUST TO MAKE SURE,BUT SUWAKO AND I COULD EASILY STOP THE SHR-'' And then the Hakurei Shrine fell on top of theirs, completely demolishing both.

Suwako stopped practicing her dance moves to look at what was left. ''That's bad.''

''BAD?! YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT! I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER I SEE FIRST!'' she then added, after a second ''OF COURSE, NOT COUNTING YOU.''

Lucky for her, soon enough someone came out, and it was someone with a big body to beat up. I'm talking of Yuugi, of course. She roared, still moved by her desire for bloodshed, not knowing what was coming to her.

''GET HER'' Kanako ordered to Suwako.

''Okay.'' Suwako nodded, and summoned a giant stone arm from the ground that trapped Yuugi and raised her high in the sky.

Kanako closed in and generated a big log to beat up Yuugi with. After several hits, Yuugi managed to break the stone hand by sheer strength and hit Kanako back. The snake goddess used the log to block, but the first hit from Yuugi's fist damaged it seriously, and the second one broke it in three pieces. Before the third punch, Kanako moved sideways as she threw the two pieces of log she was holding at the oni's face.

Kanako then used her heel to kick Yuugi on top of her head and send her towards the ground. Suwako intercepted the falling Yuugi with another giant arm made of stone, this one closed in a fist. It hit her, sending back up to Kanako, who shot her down yet again with a rain of bullets. Yuugi hit the ground with such strength that a hole was left all around her, kind of like in Dragon Ball Z.

The oni tried getting up to keep the fight, but she passed out, letting out only a defeated groan before losing consciousness.

The fight over, Kanako looked closer into the ruins of the two shrines.

''What are we going to do now?'' asked Sanae?

From the broken shrines came out the three fairies of light and Shinmyoumaru, they were a bit disoriented, but otherwise fine.

''Looks like that there shrine is giving birth to fairies'' said Sanae ''wait, no, they're the fairies from before.''

Shinmyoumaru looked at Yuugi on the floor ''Did you defeat her? I thought she'd never stop.''

''Why were you fighting her?'' wondered Sanae.

''We weren't just fighting her.'' started explaining Star.

Sunny then finished the explanation ''We found the culprit! It's Yamame, she was with Reimu and Yuugi at the shrine, and a brick possessed her!''

''AND WHERE ARE THEY NOW! I WANT THEM TO PAY!''

Yukari appeared, and without pause she signalled towards the sky ''they will likely come here soon.''

''There she is!'' Yamame made her arrival known with her voice. ''And the rest are with her too.''

''This is getting worse by the moments, Yamame. When I let you in the shrine you said it wouldn't break!''

''Stop complaining about the shrine, I'll build you a thousand of them when we defeat them.''  
''DEFEAT US? STOP DAYDREAMING, YOU WILL FALL LIKE THE INSECT YOU ARE.''

Reimu corrected her ''Actually, spiders aren't insects.''

''QUIET, IT'S A MANNER OF SPEECH, I KNOW WHAT I SAY!''

''Whatever'' Yamame interrupted their conversation ''Even if you have a god or two with you, we have an angry oni who...wait, is that Yuugi laying on the floor?'

Suwako took a closer look at Yuugi to make sure ''Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's her.''

''Damnit! Things are getting bad.'' She looked at Reimu ''It's time to use that power of yours!''

''I can't bother to do it.'' replied Reimu.

''Stop being lazy! Do it!''

Reimu was about to say no again, but both her and Yamame were hit by the flying pieces of the Moriya and the Hakurei shrines, carried by a strong gust of wind that Sanae created.

''Do it now!'' managed to shout Yamame between impacts.

''...Okay, but only this time.''

Reimu used her secret technique: Fantasy Heaven. With its power active, she became untouchable. She, however, could attack everyone else without worries.

''WHAT THE HELL?!'' Kanako asked.

''We can't do anything now until she stops'' said Yukari.

Yamame laughed as if to mock Yukari ''Reimu isn't going to stop due to some silly self-imposed time limit. She will stop when I say so, and I won't ask her to until you're all dead!''

''What now?'' Asked Shinmyoumaru.

Sunny thought it over. ''There is something I think could work.''

''Are you thinking about...?'' wondered Star.

''Yes, exactly that.''

They told the others about it. Yamame and Reimu were not able to hear a thing.

''I don't know what you're planning, but it won't help you!'' screamed Yamame from the top of her lungs ''Die, and never come back!''

Both Reimu and Yamame shot enough bullets to kill an entire platoon (so, like thirty-something guys). They raised so much dust upon hitting the ground, that it became impossible to see. When the dust dissapeared, there was nobody left, they had dissapeared.

Yamame couldn't believe her eyes ''Did you kill them? Did you kill them so hard their bodies vanished?''

They stopped flying and walked a bit around the area. Reimu stopped Fantasy Heaven now that she didn't need it anymore.

''And what do we do n-'' Reimu stopped talking and began convulsing as if she was being hit by invisible people.

''What the f-'' Yamame rubbed her eyes, but she still couldn't see anything ''What's the meaning of this?!''  
Suddenly, in front of her eyes , Suwako, Kanako and Sanae appeared. They were beating Reimu so badly that she couldn't fight back.

''Damnit! Damnit! Damnit, I don't know what's going on but I won't let you do that!''

She shot relentlessly at them, but a gap formed in-between and absorbed all the bullets.

''No, this cannot be!'' Yamame began tearing at her hair.

''Unfortunately for you, it is.'' Yukari Yakumo's voice was heard, and she appeared without any sign of damage.

''Seems like your plans didn't go out so well.'' Shinmyoumaru Sukuna became visible again, followed by Sunny Milk, whose head she was standing on.

''When you attacked us, we used my powers to manipulate sunlight to become invisible.''

Luna Child appeared at her side ''We also used my powers to mute sound so you couldn't hear us.''

Finally, Star Sapphire became visible again ''And when you thought you had won and Reimu stopped her attack, we striked again.''

The three fairies said at once ''It's over, Yamame!''

''No! Never! This doesn't mean anything!'' She began clawing at her own face ''I won't let you ruin my plans! I will end you, and I will erase any trace of you before creating the world as I see fit!''

She began firing even more at them ''I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!''

The fairies and Shinmyoumaru moved in closer, dodging all the bullets. They sprayed her with lasers, fire, and bullets, knocking her back. At the same time, Yukari unleashed all the bullets shot by Yamame that the gap absorbed. She was unable to shoot back any longer, and fell on her knees after some seconds, loudly cursing the names of her opponents all the way.

When the fairies stopped shooting, she managed to get back up and started swinging Roukanken at them with what strength she had left. But much like Yuugi, she passed out, she dropped the katana and fell to the ground, finally defeated.

But it wasn't the end of it. The spirit of the brick refused to accept defeat. She abandoned Yamame's body and gave some parting words ''This is not the end! You will see me again!''

''Quick, use the sword!'' Shinmyoumaru said.

The three fairies took it and flew towards the spirit at full speed. With one decisive swing of the katana, she was cut in half, and the spirit began to visibly shatter into pieces.

''No! You cannot kill me! Mere fairies shouldn't even be capable of harming me! I was supposed to be inmortal, a force above nature!''

She left out one last scream of anguish, which faded away as her pieces disappeared.

''Bet that'll lift your spirits.'' quipped Shinmyoumaru

Kanako jumped into battle right after ''THAT'S IT, REIMU IS OUT AND I'M READY TO TAKE ON THE CULPRIT!'' She looked around ''UH...WHERE IS SHE?''

Yukari looked at Yamame's unsconcious body and said ''It's finally over. We made it.''

At long last, the spirit that had caused so much commotion in Gensokyo was gone.


	9. Epilogue

With the incident taken care of, all that was left was getting everything back to normal. When Yamame woke up again, she was her usual friendly self, and she had no recollection of what had happened. The rest of people changed weren't back to normal, however, so Yamame was needed to get everyone to how they were originally.

At first, she didn't know how to use Reisen's eye, but after days of practice she became able to, and with it she made Reisen and Eirin go back to their usual selves. Eirin Yakogoro would put everyone's body's like they were before (including Rinnosuke, who got all the glue extracted from him), and Reisen would do the job of making everyone sane again.

A day after everything was fixed, Yamame went to the Hakurei Shrine, or what would be the new shrine, since it had to be rebuilt. The oni were at it, including Yuugi, much like the last time it was rebuilt. Right next to the construction site, Reimu, Shinmyoumaru and the fairies sat along with Yamame to drink and talk, as it always goes after a job well done.

''So, about this whole incident...'' Yamame said ''I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to cause all this disaster.''

''Don't sweat it, we've all gone through worse!'' Sunny assured.

''Yes, I don't blame you.'' agreed Reimu ''And anyways, I'm not very sure what happened.''

''But what about the shrine? Now it's all destroyed.''

''It's not the first time they had to rebuild it, it will be fine.''

''I still can't believe the brick was the culprit behind all of this.'' Said Luna.

''And I can't believe that I was affected by it and started acting like a bad comedian.'' Shinmyoumaru added.

''It isn't so odd. When an item becomes old enough, it gains life'' explained Reimu ''it's not the first case in Gensokyo, altough they usually aren't this dangerous.''

''But why weren't the fairies affected if they lived with you?'' wondered Yamame.

Shinmyoumaru theorized ''Maybe due to springing from nature, something made them unable to be affected by Reisen's power.''

''That can't be.'' Star said ''Sunny was affected by that power, but it was only temporal. I think if the spirit wanted it could have affected us like you.''

Yamame came to a conclusion ''Then maybe it didn't think of you as a threat and decided to leave you alone.''

''And we proved her wrong.'' Said Sunny.

''Yes, you did a great job. I'm very grateful to you three.'' Yamame told her.

They kept drinking the day away in celebration. Once the Hakurei and the Moriya shrine were rebuilt, everything would go back to normal (well, as normal as it usually is in Gensokyo). Of course, in the future, new incidents would come, with different people causing trouble in the land, but the brick would never come again, and Reimu would be there to fix those incidents. In the meantime, they could all settle and enjoy the calm, knowing that everything turned out okay in the end.

* * *

 _And that's the end of it. This story was shorter than the previous one, but I still had fun writing it, and I think it tied well with the previous story. Of course, there wasn't any need for a sequel since it could have been left as a single story and explain the incident as Yukari being hit in the head hard (like it was explained in the original story), but this one ties up well without undermining what Utsuho and company did. Okku, Orin and Cirno saved Gensokyo from an evil Yukari, and somewhat as a result, Yukari, the fairies and Shinmyoumaru saved the world from the spirit of the brick.  
_

 _Now, onto a bit of trivia. Shinmyoumaru's name was a bit of a chore to write well for me. I lost count of how many times I have stopped to check on the internet how it's written just to be sure I wasn't writing it wrong. Also, since we're talking about her, I must explain that her act of making puns, despite the mention of tie-pulling wasn't really meant to be mocking Rodney Dangerfield (even if Shinmyoumaru describes her act in this chapter as bad comedy). Rodney Dangerfield is a great comedian, and his comedy isn't just a bunch of corny puns. Shinmyoumaru is actually referencing **Rover** Dangerfield, the cartoon dog voiced by Rodney in the movie of the same name, who does say quite the ammount of silly puns during the story._

 _And just in case someone thinks I was trying to make purposely bad fanfic, no I wasn't. This is me trying seriously, even if the idea is to make a silly story that probably only makes sense to me. I don't really expect to get great praises, but I also hope you enjoyed the story for what it was_


End file.
